Simplicity Anyone?

I stumbled lately out of bed this morning and tripped my way to the subway, eyes half closed with no makeup to find a massive hoard of angry people hovering at the subway entrances. Everyone looked like cavemen scratching their heads and groins. The man wearing socks with sandals next to me couldn't understand the police officer when he told us "THERE ARE NO TRAINS RUNNING IN ALL OF MANHATTAN." The socks and sandals man then proceeded to go down the stairs to the subway station only to emerge again, looking overly pissed off and confused. Like the police officer hadn't told him that "THERE ARE NO TRAINS RUNNING IN ALL OF MANHATTAN."

All 24 lines to the marvelous NY Public Fucking Transportation System were apparently flooded from some blazing thunderstorm tornado that ripped apart Brooklyn last night.

I am really convinced that the Locusts are definitely on their way.

In a period of three short weeks I've experienced an EXPLOSION, a building COLLAPSE near my apartment(I'll explain later), a SHOOTING in front of my apartment door (I'll explain later), and now, a massive FLOOD. What's next? Are these signs from some God or a Higher Power or the Allah Global Warming?

I managed to squeeze onto a smelly bus and then I walked 40 blocks in high heels to midtown Manhattan with sweat beads dripping from my crotch to my toes. I then had to share a cab with some leathery old lady with frizzy hair from Connecticut:

"Nothing works anymore. This country is falling apart! They can't even hold a bridge up! The infrastructure of this country is collapsing from within!" she spewed. Driver! Can you please hurry!"

As Connecticut leather bags continued on her soapbox, I studiously looked out the window at the thousands of people frantically walking to work with their briefcases, backpacks, I-pods, Blackberries, bluetooths, Gameboys, laptops and Grande Frappucinos. It occurred to me that just 100 years ago people didn't need all of this shit. We didn't even HAVE public transportation.

In the world of television programming, there is a well known concept called "Feeding the Beast." Basically, the concept's theory is that a television viewer becomes increasingly sophisticated and demands more and more from a show.

The catch is that the MORE you feed the viewers, the MORE they want, and thus the cycle of dissatisfaction begins and ratings start to drop.

Will we ever have enough? Will we ever be satisfied? When public transportation fails us I've realized that the only true remedy is a teletransporter, that way, we can instantly be anywhere at anytime on time for that important conference call in between instant messaging our potential clients so we can sell them more stuff to communicate with.

When my Blackberry Pearl 8100 dies and I can't get to one of my TWO chargers (one for work, one for home) I feel lost, empty and alone, like Tom Hanks in Cast Away. When my cell phone dies, I die with it...

This morning I set up a web domain for my blog and here are SOME of the instructions:

Open the Domains tab and select My Domain Names. You'll be directed to the Manage Domains page.
Click the domain that you'd like to use with your blog.
Click the Total DNS Control And MX Records in the box entitled Total DNS Control.
Click Add New CNAME Record. If you've already created a CNAME record for your blog's address, click Edit next to the existing CNAME record.
For the Name, enter only the subdomain of the address you want to use for your blog. For example, if you picked www.mydomain.com as your address, enter www here.
Enter ghs.google.com as the Host Name.
Click Continue, and then click Add. If you're editing an existing CNAME record, click Continue and Update.


Really? Is that all?

Fiction and Isolation

Everyone here in the city seems to be up on the latest fiction bestseller. Everyone (even their dogs) has a book to read on the subway. When I steal a glimpse of what the person next to me on the subway is reading, I get slightly amused and delve into a fantasy world of my own. I like to imagine what the person next to me is thinking as they devour the words on the page.

People here eat while reading books. People here walk while reading books. People here talk while reading books. People here sleep while reading books. It seems like whatever book you're reading is a fashion statement. The "in" thing to do.

The irony is that the people who look the stupidest are usually reading something deep and complex. The people who look the smartest, i.e., studious and well-dressed, are usually reading something simple. Aren't appearances deceiving?

I've had trouble getting into fiction or anything over three pages since I moved here. I will start a book and suddenly become disinterested because it doesn't move me, doesn't shake me, doesn't make me feel something. I just don't understand my tastes because every time, I mean every time someone recommends a book to me and says "This book is sooo amazing. You'll be hooked from the first page," it usually ends up underneath my bed gathering dust, bent and crumpled.

Last night, a miracle occurred. I picked up a book, and, drumroll please, I was hooked. It's called "Namesake" by some Indian author. It's about Indian immigrants who come to America in the early 60s. Probably doesn't sound too different, but the intricate, overlapping themes of the book have really resonated with me.

After I moved back from Italy in 2003 I had to finish my Bachelor's degree. One of the courses I had to take was Contemporary American lit. My teacher was this bitchy, menopausal psychopath who wanted us to interpret the stories from her point of view and parrot it on the exams.

One day, as I was discussing an exam with her in her office, she started to talk to me about my experience of living in Italy and being married to an Italian. It's a conversation I'll never forget:

Teacher: "Gosh, you had so many themes of isolation going on when you were in Italy. Have you ever thought about writing about those themes?"

Me: "Well, um..."

Teacher: "See, the first theme is being so far away from your family. The second theme is not knowing the language, the third theme is that your husband was away so much and the fourth theme is that you were new to marriage. All at one time! Amazing!"

Me: "Well, um, I've never really thought about it that way..."

As I read this book about the Indian immigrants, I can't help but think of that conversation with my psycho, yet brilliant professor. I can't help but think of all the themes of isolation that have repeated over and over in my life... Aren't we all immigrants in some form or another? I'm an immigrant in New York.

Don't we all feel like strangers?

One of my favorite quotes is: "We're not human beings having a spiritual experience. We're spiritual beings having a human experience."

I guess I shouldn't be so hard on myself because I haven't followed the status quo and read the latest fashionable book. Just like the dating thing, I'm sure the right book will come to me...Hey, it did last night.