Changes. Big Changes.

My mom is dead. There is no other way to put it, except for, my mom is really dead. I just got back to New York last week after being in Texas since November and I feel so empty, so devoid of emotion, like something is missing in my life. Like, say, my mom. I can't even put into words how much I've witnessed over the past 7 months. I've been on a bad, bad roller coaster ride.

My brother and I had to make the decision to take my mom off of life support in February after she was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer and had a severe allergic reaction to her first round of chemotherapy. I really can't make this shit up. Before all of this, I honestly thought I had real life drama to write about, "important" life changing decisions, like which date to go on or which shoes to wear on this superficial little blog. Now, I have real shit to write about, like how my dad crapped his pants the other day because my brother and I moved him here to NY because he had a stroke in 2005 and he can't take care of himself and he's staying in my brother's spare room and the other day he wandered out of the apartment and we called 911 and the whole NYC fucking police force had some special code out for him and we thought we lost our dad too and they found him 12 blocks away, 5 hours later... carrying a box of my mom's christmas ornaments that we had shipped here to keep some sort of memory alive of her from the house that my parents lived in for over forty years.

I don't know how much more I can take.

I'm moving to San Francisco in a couple weeks.