A Big Glass of Water

I received an e-mail this morning from an old friend of mine in Texas. It was a forwarded e-mail, but I really think it was something I needed to hear at this moment. It said that when you hold a glass of water, it doesn't seem too heavy. When you hold it for an hour, your arm starts to hurt. When you hold it for days, it becomes a burden and the pain becomes impossible to bear.

The e-mail then went on to compare the glass of water to our work lives. It may not seem like much, but bringing home all of your burdens from work will eventually become impossible to bear. We are NOT our jobs. We are more than that. I think that's what I realized this week. Even though I have a fairly easy job, the constant task of going and going and going finally took its toll.

Today marks my one year anniversary of living in New York. It's been a whirlwind, a constant push to make ends meet, a constant questioning. I've learned a lot about myself since being here. Things I could have never known if I would have never taken the risk and jumped on that flight and said, "Let's try it out for a year."

Some of the things I've learned:

1. I''m just like my father. I have strong sense of self that I usually don't share with many people.
2. I'm just like my mother. I have learned to say "fuck it" when I need to.
3. I'm just like my brother. I can be a chamelion and take on other people's personalities when I'm around them.
4. I can commute from one tip of Manhattan to the other and find my way around.
5. I will always bounce back spiritually. No matter how "off" I get, I will always find the meaning and lesson in everything.
6. I kind of know Microsoft Excel.
7. I understand office politics more. Don't gossip.
8. There are no accidents or "random" meetings. Every person in this city meets who they need to meet, at exactly the right moment.
9. Honesty really is the best policy. In a city of lying liars, it's refreshing to be yourself and take the pressure off.
10. I need my family. Always. They are the constant rock in my life. They are on this journey with me, inside my heart.

It's impossible not to have a job here in the city. I've been going non-stop since day one here and consciously or subconsciously, I have to say, I am very very tired. It feels like I am on this merry-go-round with the same stuff regurgitating itself over and over, every day. I am ready for a change. I'm not sure what that change will entail, but I think am ready.

Who knows where I'll be in the next few months. Maybe I'll still be at my same job, doing the same things. But, I think something in me has changed. I still have a twinkle in my eye and I still see the good in people. I might be a little crazier than when I left Texas, but, I think crazier can be good thing.

I think I'm going to set that glass of water down now.