Doorman

I jolted myself out of bed at 2:00 this morning anxious to check my e-mail. and I have yet to hear from the hot people. I have this overwhelming, deep, dark feeling of nonacceptance, just like in junior high when I thought I wouldn't get on the cheerleading squad.

Surely something is wrong?

I checked the rules again on entering the seemingly elusive site. First, the administrators of the site must approve my photos. Then, if my photo is approved, 25 hotties must rank me as an 8 or above in order to pass the Velvet Rope.

Considering there are 1000 members on the site it couldn't take more than a few hours for 25 people to give me at least an 8? What is wrong? Am I too unwilling to accept that I'm not hot enough? Am I completely delusional about myself? Are we all delusional about ourselves?

I've kept my same cell phone number with a Texas area code for 4 years now. Last night, on a whim, I decided to change it. Now I have a 917 New York area code.

It's been my dream to live in Manhattan since I was young and this place has always represented the mecca of hope, success, and huge dreams...Now that I have a New York area code, does that make me an official New Yorker?

Armed with my new area code, will I be accepted as an East Coaster even though my Texas twang comes out? (after a few martinis of course).

Have I made it past the Velvet Rope of New York? When will I know? How about the Velvet Rope of my Career? The Velvet Rope of my Love Life? The Velvet Rope of my Money?

What I'm slowly beginning to realize is that I am my own doorman. I've put the Velvet Rope up in front of myself.

Damn. It's amazing how rejection can cause such introspection. Maybe I should consider breast implants.