New Boss, More Liquor

I am a completely different person at work than I am in real life. Different, meaning, well, a bit quiet, a bit reserved. Outside of work, I'm rather gregarious, sociable, a bit of a party queen depending on the day of the week. I feel like I sort of lead separate lives.

Today our new office manager/boss started. Our old boss, who will be "training" our new boss for the next few weeks, has been here for like 20 years. Our old boss is a 60-something-Jewish-pilled-up-alcoholic who is pretty cool, but sometimes a little too paranoid about our office procedures. I think she feels guilty about the hard boozing so she over-compensates at work. She always loves it when people have doctor's appointments because she loves to go to the doctor. (Everyone here also loves to talk about their ailments, headaches and latest surgeries. We're a pharma ad agency. Enough said).

Our new boss is from the Bronx and used to be an office manager at some rehab hospital. She has flaming short red hair and five ear piercings in each ear. Over coffee and stale bagels, we had to have a chat with our new boss this morning. It felt rather painful, and I felt myself laughing at inappropriate moments, like when the new boss told us about her previous job experience:

New Boss: "Well, people used to throw things at windows all the time. A lot of people were still recovering and it was a rather harsh environment."

Old Boss: "Well it's probably because they went off their meds. Here, well, we're alcoholics, but we're good alcoholics."

Employee: "Yeah, we're fun alcoholics."

My company is the only company in an enormous building that petitioned for a liquor license just so we could drink in the office. I have enough liquor in the kitchen behind me to start my own bootlegging business.

My company also finds any excuse to have a party at least once a month. For St. Patricks day, we had three men in kilts come and do their jig as we downed Irish coffees, which consisted of Irish Whiskey and a dab of coffee. Everyone was toasted by two in the afternoon.

I think dealing with so much scientific data has driven everyone sort of mad here. Having to read magazines like "Infectious Diseases Today", "Cutis", "Opthamology Times," and "The Journal of Urology" would definitely drive me into a raging alcoholic frenzy.

I guess I'm not really myself at work because I feel like I don't really relate to people who have made it their life's work to study up on the latest swelling tumor, or the latest fad in insulin. Apparently, insulin is really the in thing now and can be used in so many different ways.

In a city where one cocktail goes for $20, I really enjoy the free liquor on a regular basis. Hopefully our new boss will be a fun alcoholic too.